Score for Sample Persuasion Task - Answer #2
High (score of 6)
Although papers in the high category differ in approach and quality, they stand out from other papers in a set because they address the writing task effectively, evidenced, for example, by analysis of data and by original and relevant strategies, ideas and examples. Their writing shows sensitivity to what style and tone are appropriate for the intended writer, reader, and situation. Papers in this category are not perfect, nor are they expected to be, for each is only a first draft written in the allotted time and is scored high mainly in reference to the standards that emerge from other papers on the same topic. The paper below is representative of responses in this category. It demonstrates analytic ability, original thinking, and writing competence. It follows directions by directly addressing objections Cathy might have to the writer’s position. The organization follows a plan, and the style and tone are appropriate for the situation.
Open Scoring Guide
Sample Persuasion Task - Answer #2:
Throughout the last three years you have demonstrated to me that you are passionate about your ornament business. I see that the artistic creativity you have cultivated is an essential outlet for you. The doubling of your sales in the last year is a strong indication that your ornaments have a demanding market; your start-up idea does not afford you this luxury.
I am sure you are aware that nine of ten new businesses fail. Remaining in the real estate business I have seen the rapid growth of appraisal services. Many agree that this is due to the spike in new home builds. This factor is tied directly to the strength of the economy (new home building starts are a leading economic indicator). I do not know when the bottom will fall out of the appraisal market. However, what goes up must come down. The dot.com boom duped many wise business men and women. Remember when Amazon. Com was valued at $160/share without any observable profits? Cathy, I believe the appraisal business is at its peak, and must retreat soon. I don’t want you to get burned by this.
You have told me that you want to work with adults more frequently and would like to make more money. I have a suggestion that will take care of both the former and the latter. Your sales have doubled in the last year. If this trend continues you will soon have more work than you can handle. If you hire a few employees now, you will never hit the barrier, and you will be working around adults (of your choosing too!) In fact, the doubling of growth is so exciting to me, I would happily donate some of my time to have a part in your company.
The giant step of expanding our, as of yet, small independent business may be daunting to you. You probably are held back by fear of not being able to afford employees. From what you told me, though, most of your expenses have been fixed (painting and manufacturing machines). Because you have mainly fixed costs, your increasing sales should generate direct increased profits. This all but guarantees you will be able to afford your expansion.
Cathy, your passion for this business and the market demand have been demonstrated. Why risk losing this?
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